End of the Road

I haven’t posted in over three weeks, not since the fateful day when I felt a twinge in my knee.  Well, it was more than a twinge.  And sadly it has spelled the end of my pursuit to finish a marathon before my 50th birthday.  The week it happened…well, let me stop right there.  I experienced no “it,” really.  There was no fall, no dramatic moment of injury.  I was simply running up the stairs and felt a pain in my knee which I took to be a momentary thing I could shake off.  But I couldn’t.  I tried resting it for a week, assuming it would be fine the next week.  Then another week of no running in the hopes that my trip to PA to visit my daughter (and to attend a Penn State football victory) wouldn’t be ruined by my lack of mobility.  It’s possible the miles and miles of walking (rather, limping) around Happy Valley didn’t help the situation, but I wouldn’t trade it–and don’t think sitting around that weekend would have changed this final result.

After three weeks of no running, I decided to check it out, and I was diagnosed with “Runner’s Knee.”  Not very glamorous, but there you have it.  The good news is that it will heal eventually with rest.  After a pretty extensive series of range of motion exercises that didn’t hurt, they seemed fairly confident that I didn’t have any tears or major problems, that I just needed to let my knee recover in its time and help it along the way with rest. ice, etc.  As I was told that, I stubbornly said “I have a half marathon on September 24 and a full marathon on October 9.”  She just shook her head at me, which is truly the first moment that I let myself believe I wouldn’t be able to do it.  I had previously been concerned what the lack of running would do to my time, how it may have killed my chances of finishing under the 6 1/2 hours I’d hoped for.  Now I had to face the grim truth–that I wasn’t going to be able to do it all.  I cried a little on the ride home, more when I came home and had to announce aloud to Mike that I was done, but I’m coming to terms with it.  I’m sure the moment that Mike and my brother Rob take off in Chicago (my niece also has knee problems and won’t be running), a few more tears will emerge.  But I’m starting to look ahead, consider this a dream deferred instead of a dream dashed.  Right now I just want to be able to walk without limping!

Thanks to anyone who has read these posts.  I wish I could have provided a triumphant final chapter next month, but the story isn’t over yet!

Possible setback

I’m feeling a little bummed at the moment, though in my usual backward thinking I hope that by fearing the worst this will prove a minor obstacle.  We went out for our run today, and though I was a bit slower than I had been (much slower I’d be running backwards!) I felt fine.  My back has been bothering me a bit, along with my knees–but I was pretty sure that wasn’t from running as much as from too much time spent in the car of late.  A trip back and forth to Rochester NY a couple weeks back (which is about 500 miles each way plus a side trip to Jamestown for Lucy’s birthday celebration on the way home) followed by an  unexpected trip to Chicago last week with the long rides on Saturday and Sunday.  I was certain all that time folded up had left me achy, and a day spent on my feet at work Saturday hadn’t helped.  But overall I felt good during the run it self.  After my shower, I prepared to leave for work when I had to make a quick trip upstairs to retrieve my keys.  I got halfway up the steps when a terrible pain gripped my left knee.  I wasn’t so much that the pain was intolerable but that my knee seemed paralyzed by it.  I could barely move and had to catch my breath before hobbling out to the car and off to work.  Aside from a bit of gimpiness on the job, I was able to ignore it for the most part, but it hasn’t gotten any better and seems to be sprained.  I think it should be okay in a couple days, but this is the first time–either last year or this year–that something has rattled me a bit, made me worry about my ability to proceed.  Hopefully a couple days rest will help it, though of course I’m already hoping I can manage the short 20 minute run on Thursday.  Saturday is supposed to be 18 miles though, which I already figured I wouldn’t be able to accomplish.  The Chicago trip disrupted our schedule so we never got the 16 miler in and I wasn’t able to finish the full 14 miles before that.  I’m so behind–and now this!  Frustrating.  But I will persevere–this is too annoying for me to give into it now.

Psychological progress, physical regress

I’m not sure how to feel about the fact that our marathon is only 7 weeks away.  Wait a minute….yes, I do know how I feel about it. AAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!  Yeah, that felt about right.  It’s really starting to dawn on me that 26 miles is a long way to go.  And you know what?  When I see the 26 mile marker that day (assuming I’m still alive or at least not on a stretcher as I pass it), I’ll STILL have .2 miles to go.  I think of that .2 a lot.  I think “As long as I go one mile every 15 minutes, I can make the 6.5 hour goal!”  Not so fast, sister–or not so slow, I mean.  Because that .2 means I have to go a bit faster than that.  I swear, I do more math than running these days.  I was contemplating various run/walk intervals last night–everything from 4/4 to 10/5 or the gradual tapering one suggested in our program.  She suggests 30/1, 25/1, 20/1, 15/1, 10/1, 5/1…and then building back up the other way.  What I like about all that is the fact that if I get caught up in my watch and these little games of timing and intervals, I may be less focused on mile markers and how much further I have to go.  And that would have to be a good thing.

The Tuesday runs have been good.  Last week’s 30 minute jog was a surprisingly easy effort–I couldn’t believe how fast it went.  Oddly though, the Thursday run–just two 10/1 intervals–felt much harder.  Saturday “long runs” have turned into long hikes instead, with me pooping out early in the running effort.  So I’m not sure what all of this means, but I’m glad to know that, even as panic occasionally sets in, this will one day be here so I can just do it and stop thinking about it so much!

Getting faster?

Today’s run was done in humid but much cooler temps, for which I was grateful.  Two intervals of 20/1 today, which we have done often enough that I know what ground we have to cover to make it work and get me home so I can shower and leave for work on time.  Today’s first 20 minutes felt like an eternity, and we covered more ground that I had anticipated–which made me suspicious.  The second 20 minutes we were much further along, a couple blocks closer to home than usual which sealed the deal.  Mike HAD to have set the watch incorrectly.  Because I was running very slowly today, I could tell.  It felt like I was losing ground, getting tired faster.  What was wrong with me?  But he showed me the watch to prove it was set correctly, and we did return at the time we were expected to.  He said that we were just running faster this time so we covered more ground more quickly.  So why did it feel like I was running so slowly?  I suppose my own expectations of my slow run have just adapted to a slightly quicker pace.  (And I do mean slightly–Mike still circled back several times to keep from getting too far ahead.)  So maybe my legs were tired because I was running faster?  I still find it hard to believe, but all evidence seems to suggest it’s true.

I’m pulling out the Sonoma cookbook this week to plans meals for next week.  I’ve been thinking that I never feel better or more energetic than I do when I follow that eating program.  I feel peppy, healthy and it encourages wine and chocolate.  Olive oil is my friend.  Quinoa is a grain staple.  What’s not to love about all of that?  And tomorrow we’re heading back to the Parkview Fitness Center, which we loved but haven’t seen in over a week because of our vacation.  We triumphantly return tomorrow, and I’m going to do two sets of everything.  I’m suddenly feeling inspired!

Two months from today is the marathon.  I’m filled with dread and excitement. That sounds about right…how else should I feel about the prospect of 26.2 miles?

A little break…

Took a trip to my hometown, Rochester NY, this week.  It was short but very sweet, with time to visit family and see a few great things.  Highlights included the Susan B Anthony House and Buffalo Bills training camp which is held at St John Fisher’s campus.  My first experience at training camp so I’d like to thank the players and owners for wrapping up the lockout business in time for me to see it while I was home!  The Susan B house is unbelievably inspirational, and I would recommend it to anyone who visits upstate NY.

We had planned to move our Tues/Thurs/Sat runs to Mon/Wed/Fri and did manage the Monday run the day before we left.  But our drive on Tuesday was interrupted by an unexpected event–a blown tire just 30 minutes from my sister’s doorstep.  Two hours were spent dealing with that situation, and though we finally managed to get a spare tire on there to complete our journey, it was a temporary fix and a new tire was required.  That ended up replacing our Wednesday run since that morning was taken up with finding a place and then waiting for them to fix it.  But we did get in a great run through Scottsville on Friday and the Genessee path very similar to our Greenway but unpaved–which feels pretty good on the joints.  What felt even better was that the temps in Rochester were significantly lower than here.  One day the high was 72!  While not all days were that cool, it was still a breath of fresh air.  Literally.  I could breathe freely on our run for the first time in weeks and even jogged a bit longer than required, which absolutely never happens.  It just felt good.  And it felt encouraging that once the heat finally breaks (and it has to by October, doesn’t it?) I will be able to complete this mission.  I feel renewed confidence anyway, despite my dismay upon returning to Fort Wayne and being slapped with the weather reality.  But I now remember what it can feel like and look forward to the end of this summer heat!

A brisk hike through Pokagon today before the rains so now we’re ready to face another week which will culminate in a 16 miler on Saturday.  Oy!

New Habit

I’m pretty pleased with myself.  We headed to the fitness center again today, and I did two 15-minute stints on the recumbant bicycle (my new favorite toy!) and two sets of the 10 weight machines in between.  I feel great!  Well, my legs are a little noodly–I can definitely tell I’ve worked them more this week.  And short-term that may be a problem since we have to cover 14 miles tomorrow.  But I’ll run what I can and walk the rest–and long-term I think these extra sessions will help tremendously in the months ahead.  Plus after the marathon, it’ll be easy to not do anything, which is what I did after the half marathon last year.  But this new habit will serve me well beyond that, especially when the snow and ice prevent even our occasional hikes.  And it’s even fun (did I just say that?)

Muddling along

That pretty much sums up the last two weeks.  Heat continues to plague me, not only during the run but the rest of my day which leaves me feeling a bit uneasy.  My stomach doesn’t really want food when it should (but then demands it later when I’m at work–having to make allowances for that) and my whole attitude is sagging.  Last Saturday, our 14 mile run was postponed because my back was acting up again.  Seems to be a 2-day routine which then goes away on its own if I don’t further aggravate it.  We still have some leeway in our program so we’re repeating last week–14 miles await on Saturday.  Not enthused.

On the plus side, we had our first workout at the Parkview Health & Fitness Center Tuesday and even got to work with a trainer.  We get three sessions with a trainer, and Lindsey was really awesome.  We did one circuit on the weight machines which means we worked all our muscles.  It’s a great set-up, and we figured out what weights work for each of us to start out.  We also did some work on cardio machines, and I discovered the charm and beauty of recumbant bicycling!  I have to say that every Saturday as we chug down the Greenway (well, Mike runs–I chug) we are passed by dozens of bicylists, and I always say “Don’t they look like they’re having fun?”  They do!  I kinda resent it.  It just looks so much more pleasant than running.  And those suspicions were confirmed when I bicycled at the gym–with one very key upgrade.  Air. Conditioning. Oh, and fans. It’s a blissful double whammy.  I think working on my strength and endurance in comfortable temps will help me tremendously in the next two months because I just feel like I’m losing ground as I run in this heatwave.  Blending the two situations should bring progress.  Heading back tomorrow for more weights (this time 2 circuits) and maybe the elliptical?  Could be!

Hot Town…

Summer in the City.  Yes, that song frequently comes to mind when I find myself running in what feels like the inside of a kiln.  But with the thought of that song, I also find myself chuckling at the memory of my high school trig teacher, Mr. DeFazio.  It’s true, Mr. DeFazio was hot–every girl loved him (and in hindsight I’m guessing a few of the boys did, too) and he had a great head of hair.  But that isn’t the association I have with that song.  Our school year in NY runs late–well into the latter part of June–primarily to accommodate end of the year Regents exams (statewide finals, basically) which are the third week of June or so.  It was getting almost that time, and we were doing practice regents and reviewing in class (because if you want to pass the class, you have to pass the Regents exam) and he suddenly told us that if we didn’t remember some key thing (which would lead to us likely failing the exam) it would be H.T.S.O.T.S.B.   He rattled it off so quickly we all stared at him in confusion.  Not that saying it slowly would have helped.  Seeing our blank faces he then explained “Hot Town, Summer on the School Bus!”  Well, we all found that terribly amusing (despite the fact that this was an honors math class, and it was what we all secretly feared all the time!)  So more than 30 years later, thank you, Mr. DeFazio, wherever you are….you make me laugh when I would otherwise be a grumpy runner.

In truth, the song I should be thinking about is the theme from Chariots of Fire because I’m pretty sure anyone who peeked out their window and saw me run by was immediately reminded of the slow motion dash which always accompanies that theme!  Oh well, whatever works.  And I did manage to finish despite my prediction that I wouldn’t.  Two intervals of 20 minutes running (the longest interval so far) and 1 minute walking.  Let me make it clear–running for 20 straight minutes is harder than running for five.  But I will say  this much about the longer spurts–as good as it feels to stop for that one minute, it feels pretty terrible to have to start again after only a minute.  That minute is gold, and I’m grateful for it and for the way it allows me to pace myself and anticipate a “reward” of that tiny break.  But it also allows you to fantasize about not starting back up, and today I really felt spent after the first 20 and didn’t think I could do it again.  But I did.  Thursday is less, only two 15 minute intervals–good thing since I see the high will be 99!  Yikes!

Covering all my bases

I’ve been a very busy girl lately, and the running has only been part of the story.  This entire process has ripples, it seems, and the last few weeks have pushed me in a lot of good directions.  My efforts to run made me realize that I should be doing more than just our three jogs every week, and I decided to join the Parkview Health & Fitness Center this summer–and that’s when the fun really began.  As I was filling in the membership forms, two questions sort of plagued me. 1) Did I have a doctor’s permission to exercise? and 2) When did I last have a check-up.  Hmm…because I’ve been meaning to do all of that, really!  I used to be quite devout, and then I left a job a few years back that had great benefits and was less inspired to shell out money–and then got lazy and then just lost track of time.  Obviously, I never said “I’ll never see a doctor again!”  I just said “I’ll call next week/month/payday/etc.”  I just put it off and now was thinking it might be a good idea to actually do all of that rather than lie.

So I started a couple weeks ago with the trip to Francine’s Friends mobile coach, got that mammogram taken care of at last.  Good results.  Then I had a general look see and the old ticker, lungs, etc seem to be functioning quite nicely.  More recently I share some of my bodily fluids for purposes of testing, and all returned well from that.  Now I can, in all good conscience, say that I’m cleared to join the fitness center.  I discovered an added bonus to the delay–and one I would recommend!  I started thinking that a massage sounded good, and I remembered that a few years ago I had joined the Parkview Women’s Health Center mostly so I could receive discounts on massages there.  A nominal fee at the time–maybe $20–was well worth it for the discounts and for a few programs I attended along the way.  I looked it up and in the intervening years, the enrollment fee became free , and I was able to sign up both Mike and me for memberships.  When the info arrived in the mail, it came with a list of other discounts one could get with the membership.  The first one on the alphabetical list that caused me to share with Mike was the Papa John’s BOGO offer, which led to my praise of Papa John’s–“It’s not bad!”  (I’m from the east–that’s the highest praise I will give to any pizza made in the Midwest.  Yikes.)  Before I had finished my review of Papa John’s, my eyes fell to the discount below, and I let out a whoop that Mike at first mistook for way too much enthusiasm for Papa John’s.  It was Parkview Health & Fitness that I saw, that was the inspiration for my excitement.  I can use my membership to the Parkview Women’s Health Center to waive the $50 enrollment fee at the health center.  $50?!  That’s the biggest score of my week–I’m so glad I didn’t enroll in the fitness center first!

Now, with good health reports under my belt, I just have to survive the heat.  We’re managing our weekday runs okay since those are under and hour each.  The weekend runs have been walks for the most part–I manage three or four intervals of running and then, with sweat dripping off of me and muscles starting to sag, I resolve to walk the full distance rather than run a shorter one.  Last week was a recovery week so only nine miles down our beautiful stretch of Greenway.  This Saturday will be 14 miles–and the forecast doesn’t look pretty.  But I’ll be armed with plenty of fluids this time–and will not let it defeat me!

Lesson Unlearned

Okay, I know I said awhile back that I’d learned my lesson about hydration, how I would be much more mindful about such things in the future.  Well, screw that, I needed yet another lesson on the importance of having something to drink while on these long runs/walks.  And I will confess that the last few long runs have been more walking than running because I’ve been more determined to complete distance than to run the full intervals.  Last week’s nine miles were done on Friday because I had to work on Saturday morning, and it was the first time I’d run on consecutive days.  That proved very hard–and I’m just not very lively at the end of the day like that.  This Saturday’s run, I felt almost immediately–I am not at all fond of summer weather.  (Mike insists it was hotter last summer, and that may be true–a few times I begged off the Saturday run altogether because of the heat– but that little comparison does nothing to make me feel cooler THIS summer!)

I did take a 20 oz of Gatorade with me today for our 13 mile distance, and I thought it was working beautifully…until I ran out at the end of mile 7.  Still I felt pretty good through 10 miles. Then Michele meet wall, wall Michele.  Slam!  I didn’t feel so good anymore, and I my mouth was cotton.  Over the last three miles, I felt myself wither.  Finally I was convinced I could go no further but fortunately passed the house of a friend from IPFW, Karen Matthias, who saved my life–perhaps literally.  She offered not only cool water (and plenty of it) but also a cool home to sit in while we talked and recovered.  When we left there, we had only a few blocks left and walked home gingerly, but I no longer felt sick and weak.  So apparently 13 miles requires more than one Gatorade. Huh.  I think I’ll get one of those fancy belt devices that holds water (and I’ve said that before but this time I really mean it!)

I have occasionally felt discouraged about my prospects for finishing the marathon at all much less in the 6.5 hrs allotted to get a medal (and I must confess, the medal is the whole deal).  But this year I have lessons from last year to fall back on, especially these:

1)  I felt exactly this way last summer and never did complete 10 miles running OR walking before we did 13.1 at the half marathon.

2)  They water me regularly on the route!

3)  I seem to get a surge of adreneline on race day.  At the half marathon, I hit the 12 mile marker and took off running for that final 1.1–something that I never would have been able to do today.  Something about knowing its real makes me more ambitious about the whole thing.

4) And this is the big one….it’ll be October, not July, when I run in Chicago.  It almost has to be cooler, right?!